God is the eternal witness he is residing in your heart, one may be able to conceal a lot things but we are transparent before god. He sees everything and knows what your thoughts are. Know for a fact that the only reason why you are here is to become self realized and be able to enter god's kingdom again.
No amount of drugs, alcohol or meat eating and illicit sex will help you get rid of the pain and suffering that comes with being incarnated into this reality. Krsna has left many ways for people to reach him but we have to be brutally honest we ourselves! He is the supreme controller and everything comes from HIM.
You may find temporary friendships to help you avoid the reality of why you are here! You may find a lawyer to help you enforce your fictional narrative, you may have many lawyers to defend your fictional narrative but no amount of lawyers or helpers or manipulators can help you get out of the cycle of reincarnation when the shit hits the fan. Sri Krsna says with great power comes responsibility and accountability. Do your best to not get so crazy that you actually start believing that hurting others is normal.
All glories to Sri Guru and Sri Guranga!
All Gloeries to Srila Prabhupada!
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